So, you used to drink like a fish, but you have decided to to quit. Or maybe, you loved to smoke marijuana, but you find it immature now. Here is how you can still enjoy yourself, without the drugs and alcohol.
Steps
If you used to be an alcoholic, do not hang out in bars. Being in a bar will just likely trigger that urge to drink.
Avoid old drinking or drug buddies. Yes, they are your best friends, or so you think. If they really are best friends, they will be respectful of your choice to change your lifestyle and will be there for you in the end.
Enjoy life. Take up exercise or outdoor sports, such as rock climbing. You will then start to feel the natural highs that the body can enjoy.
Be a designated driver. You are keeping your friends safe and out of trouble this way – this also makes you a good friend.
Rediscover the art of meaningful conversation. It is amazing when two people in a coffee shop or diner have a great, intelligent conversation. It is so much better than inane chatter telling one another how “wasted” you feel.
If you miss the feeling of “trippy” look on YouTube and look up “Trippy things”. It should show you some worm holes or spirels that make you see things boiling after. But only a few seconds do they last.
Enjoy the feeling of being 100% in control, and knowing that you are totally safe and are a LOT less likely to embarrass yourself.
Have safe sex! Sex is fun even without drugs and alcohol and releases endorphins.
Tips
Be careful and find the plan that works best for you.
Consider a support group like AA – they usually have fun stuff to do together.
Join the local community center for weekly sporting events. There are leagues for people of all skill levels.
Get involved! Join clubs or organizations that share common goals, interests, or beliefs.
You should note that, let’s say if you used to drink a lot or if you took drugs earlier (It doesn’t matter if its a month, a year or three years ago) a desire to do that again might kick in in the least expecting moment, so the key here is to think about taking alcohol/drugs as less as possible and keep away from places and people where you might get some.
Think of the people that mean something to you, this can be the greatest method of prevention.
Warnings
Do not push your new lifestyle onto other people. Let them come to you.
If you used to abuse drugs or alcohol, be forewarned; some things that you used to think were very fun to do (when you were drunk or high) may not come across as fun or exciting. You may even find that you don’t want to hang out with the same people anymore.
A blackout is a phenomenon caused by the intake of alcohol in which long term memory creation is impaired. Blackouts are frequently described as having effects similar to that of anterograde amnesia. ‘Blacking out’ is not to be confused with the mutually exclusive act of ‘passing out’. Research on alcohol blackouts was begun by E. M. Jellinek in the 1940’s. Using data from a survey of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) members, he came to believe that blackouts would be a good predictor of alcoholism. [1] Particularly, these studies had shown that associations made between words and objects when intoxicated are less easily recalled than associations made when not intoxicated. Later blackout-specific studies have indicated that alcohol specifically impairs the brain’s ability to take short-term memories and experiences and transfer them to long-term memory.[2] This was shown by the ability to recall associations made while intoxicated being affected over time; it is strongly indicated that memories can be easily recalled for 2-3 minutes before the permanent inability to recall them in the future.
Types of blackouts
Blackouts can generally be divided into two categories, “en bloc” blackouts, and “fragmentary” blackouts. En bloc blackouts are classified by the inability to later recall any memories from the intoxicated period, even when prompted. These blackouts are characterized also by the ability to easily recall things that have occurred within the last 2 minutes, yet inability to recall anything prior to this period. As such, a person experiencing an en bloc blackout may not appear to be doing so, as they can carry on conversations or even manage to accomplish difficult feats. It is difficult to determine the end of this type of blackout as sleep typically occurs before they end. [3] Fragmentary blackouts are characterized by the ability to recall certain events from an intoxicated period, yet be unaware that other memories are missing until reminded of the existence of these ‘gaps’ in memory. Research indicates that fragmentary blackouts are far more common than en bloc blackouts. [4]
Causes
Blackouts are quite often associated with the consumption of large amounts of alcohol, however surveys of drinkers who have experienced blackouts have indicated that blacking out is not directly related to the amount of alcohol consumed. Respondents reported they frequently recalled having “had drunk as much or more without memory loss,” compared to instances of blacking out.[5] Subsequent research has indicated that blackouts are most likely caused by a rapid increase in a person’s blood-alcohol concentration. One study, in particular, resulted in subjects being stratified easily into two groups, those who consumed alcohol very quickly, and blacked out, and those who did not black out by drinking alcohol slowly, despite being extremely intoxicated by the end of the study.[6] Hence, in order to prevent a blackout, alcohol should not be consumed in large gulps, and should most likely not be drunk on an empty stomach.
Predisposition to blackouts
Research indicates that some users of alcohol, particularly those with a history of blackouts, are predisposed to experience blackouts more frequently than others.[7] One such study indicated a link between prenatal exposure to alcohol and vulnerability towards blackouts, in addition to the oft-cited link between this type of exposure and alcoholism.[8] Alternatively, another study has indicated that there appears to be a genetic predisposition towards blacking out, suggesting that some individuals are made to be susceptible to alcohol related amnesia.[9]
References
^ www.duke.edu/~amwhite/Blackouts/blackouts3.html <ref> ==Alcohol and long-term memory== Various studies have proven links between general alcohol consumption and its effects on memory creation.<ref>PARKER, E.S.; BIRNBAUM, I.M.; AND NOBLE, E.P. Alcohol and memory: Storage and state dependency. Journal of Verbal Learning and Verbal Behaviour 15:691-702, 1976.</li> <li id=”cite_note-1″>”’[[#cite_ref-1|^]]”’ ACHESON, S.; STEIN, R.; AND SWARTZWELDER, H.S. Impairment of semantic and figural memory by acute ethanol: Age-dependent effects. Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research 22:1437-1442, 1998.</li> <li id=”cite_note-2″>”’[[#cite_ref-2|^]]”’ GOODWIN, D.W; CRANE, J.B.; AND GUZE, S.B. Alcoholic “blackouts”: A review and clinical study of 100 alcoholics. American Journal of Psychiatry 126:191-198, 1969.</li> <li id=”cite_note-3″>”’[[#cite_ref-3|^]]”’ WHITE, A.M.; SIGNER, M.L.; KRAUS, C.L.; AND SWARTZWELDER, H.S. Experiential aspects of alcohol-induced blackouts among college students. American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse, 2004 in press.</li> <li id=”cite_note-4″>”’[[#cite_ref-4|^]]”’ GOODWIN, D.W; CRANE, J.B.; AND GUZE, S.B. Alcoholic “blackouts”: A review and clinical study of 100 alcoholics. American Journal of Psychiatry 126:191-198, 1969.</li> <li id=”cite_note-5″>”’[[#cite_ref-5|^]]”’ RYBACK, R.S. Alcohol amnesia: Observations in seven drinking inpatient alcoholics. Quarterly Journal of Studies on Alcohol 31:616-632, 1970.</li> <li id=”cite_note-6″>”’[[#cite_ref-6|^]]”’ HARTZLER, B., AND FROMME, K. Fragmentary and en bloc blackouts: Similarity and distinction among episodes of alcohol-induced memory loss. Journal of Studies on Alcohol 64(4):547-550, 2003b.</li> <li id=”cite_note-7″>”’[[#cite_ref-7|^]]”’ BAER, J.S.; SAMPSON, P.D.; BARR, H.M.; ET AL. A 21-year longitudinal analysis of the effects of prenatal alcohol exposure on young adult drinking. Archives of General Psychiatry 60:386-391, 2003.</li> <li id=”cite_note-8″>”’[[#cite_ref-8|^]]”’ [http://archpsyc.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/abstract/61/3/257 Arch Gen Psychiatry - Abstract: Genetic Epidemiology of Alcohol-Induced Blackouts, March 2004, Nelson et al. 61 (3): 257<!-- Bot generated title -->]</li></ol></ref>
A blackout is a phenomenon caused by the intake of alcohol in which long term memory creation is impaired. Blackouts are frequently described as having effects similar to that of anterograde amnesia. ‘Blacking out’ is not to be confused with the mutually exclusive act of ‘passing out’. Research on alcohol blackouts was begun by E. M. Jellinek in the 1940’s. Using data from a survey of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) members, he came to believe that blackouts would be a good predictor of alcoholism. [1] Particularly, these studies had shown that associations made between words and objects when intoxicated are less easily recalled than associations made when not intoxicated. Later blackout-specific studies have indicated that alcohol specifically impairs the brain’s ability to take short-term memories and experiences and transfer them to long-term memory.[2] This was shown by the ability to recall associations made while intoxicated being affected over time; it is strongly indicated that memories can be easily recalled for 2-3 minutes before the permanent inability to recall them in the future.
Types of blackouts
Blackouts can generally be divided into two categories, “en bloc” blackouts, and “fragmentary” blackouts. En bloc blackouts are classified by the inability to later recall any memories from the intoxicated period, even when prompted. These blackouts are characterized also by the ability to easily recall things that have occurred within the last 2 minutes, yet inability to recall anything prior to this period. As such, a person experiencing an en bloc blackout may not appear to be doing so, as they can carry on conversations or even manage to accomplish difficult feats. It is difficult to determine the end of this type of blackout as sleep typically occurs before they end. [3] Fragmentary blackouts are characterized by the ability to recall certain events from an intoxicated period, yet be unaware that other memories are missing until reminded of the existence of these ‘gaps’ in memory. Research indicates that fragmentary blackouts are far more common than en bloc blackouts. [4]
Causes
Blackouts are quite often associated with the consumption of large amounts of alcohol, however surveys of drinkers who have experienced blackouts have indicated that blacking out is not directly related to the amount of alcohol consumed. Respondents reported they frequently recalled having “had drunk as much or more without memory loss,” compared to instances of blacking out.[5] Subsequent research has indicated that blackouts are most likely caused by a rapid increase in a person’s blood-alcohol concentration. One study, in particular, resulted in subjects being stratified easily into two groups, those who consumed alcohol very quickly, and blacked out, and those who did not black out by drinking alcohol slowly, despite being extremely intoxicated by the end of the study.[6] Hence, in order to prevent a blackout, alcohol should not be consumed in large gulps, and should most likely not be drunk on an empty stomach.
Predisposition to blackouts
Research indicates that some users of alcohol, particularly those with a history of blackouts, are predisposed to experience blackouts more frequently than others.[7] One such study indicated a link between prenatal exposure to alcohol and vulnerability towards blackouts, in addition to the oft-cited link between this type of exposure and alcoholism.[8] Alternatively, another study has indicated that there appears to be a genetic predisposition towards blacking out, suggesting that some individuals are made to be susceptible to alcohol related amnesia.[9]
References
1. ^ www.duke.edu/~amwhite/Blackouts/blackouts3.html ==Alcohol and long-term memory== Various studies have proven links between general alcohol consumption and its effects on memory creation.PARKER, E.S.; BIRNBAUM, I.M.; AND NOBLE, E.P. Alcohol and memory: Storage and state dependency. Journal of Verbal Learning and Verbal Behaviour 15:691-702, 1976.
”’[[#cite_ref-1|^]]”’ ACHESON, S.; STEIN, R.; AND SWARTZWELDER, H.S. Impairment of semantic and figural memory by acute ethanol: Age-dependent effects. Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research 22:1437-1442, 1998.
”’[[#cite_ref-2|^]]”’ GOODWIN, D.W; CRANE, J.B.; AND GUZE, S.B. Alcoholic “blackouts”: A review and clinical study of 100 alcoholics. American Journal of Psychiatry 126:191-198, 1969.
”’[[#cite_ref-3|^]]”’ WHITE, A.M.; SIGNER, M.L.; KRAUS, C.L.; AND SWARTZWELDER, H.S. Experiential aspects of alcohol-induced blackouts among college students. American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse, 2004 in press.
”’[[#cite_ref-4|^]]”’ GOODWIN, D.W; CRANE, J.B.; AND GUZE, S.B. Alcoholic “blackouts”: A review and clinical study of 100 alcoholics. American Journal of Psychiatry 126:191-198, 1969.
”’[[#cite_ref-5|^]]”’ RYBACK, R.S. Alcohol amnesia: Observations in seven drinking inpatient alcoholics. Quarterly Journal of Studies on Alcohol 31:616-632, 1970.
”’[[#cite_ref-6|^]]”’ HARTZLER, B., AND FROMME, K. Fragmentary and en bloc blackouts: Similarity and distinction among episodes of alcohol-induced memory loss. Journal of Studies on Alcohol 64(4):547-550, 2003b.
”’[[#cite_ref-7|^]]”’ BAER, J.S.; SAMPSON, P.D.; BARR, H.M.; ET AL. A 21-year longitudinal analysis of the effects of prenatal alcohol exposure on young adult drinking. Archives of General Psychiatry 60:386-391, 2003.
”’[[#cite_ref-8|^]]”’ [http://archpsyc.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/abstract/61/3/257 Arch Gen Psychiatry - Abstract: Genetic Epidemiology of Alcohol-Induced Blackouts, March 2004, Nelson et al. 61 (3): 257]
Clients to mental health clinics are usually not admitted arbitrarily. The process usually consists of an initial interview with a community worker or a mental health professional. If a client is considered in need of residential or out-patient treatment at a mental health clinic, an extensive history of the mental illness will then be recorded. Such assessments will also include interviews with other doctors and family physicians who have noted the onset and progress of the ailment.
The staff at mental health clinics usually consists of psychiatrists, psychologists, mental health nurses, and support personnel who are specially trained. The scope and activities of mental health clinics in America generally falls under the purview of the CMHC (Community Mental Health Centers). This body issues licenses to clinics and centers for the practice of mental health-related treatment.
Considering that mental health crises do not always announce themselves in advance, a mental health clinic or center usually offers twenty-four-hour emergency services. These include inpatient hospital referral, since many cases are diagnosed in hospitals while the client is under treatment for other health problems.
Mental health problems affect people from all age groups, and American mental health clinics also offer services specifically for the aged as well as children and adolescents. The reasons that commonly lead to a referral for elderly persons range from senile dementia and Alzheimer�s disease to problems related to chronic alcohol abuse. Mental health problems typical to the aged fall under the category of geropsychiatric medicine.
Teenagers and young adults often find themselves in need of mental health services because of substance abuse, inherited mental problems, and Attention Deficit Disorders (ADD).
The services available at mental health clinics necessarily include group therapy, individual and family counseling, and a social awareness cell. The latter would be staffed by personnel who could explain the various issued surrounding metal health in layman�s terms to clients and their families. They are also an integral part of the evaluation process.
Mental Health provides detailed information on Mental Health, Mental Health Services, Mental Health Clinics, Mental Health Software and more. Mental Health is affliated with Depressed Teens.
Welcome to the first step in changing your relationship to alcohol and drugs forever!
No matter what has brought you to this point in life it is always exciting to stand at the doorway of a new adventure. Just imagine the questions you might have if, at this moment you were standing in the doorway of an airplane anticipating your first parachute jump. At that moment you might be filled with a variety of emotions and questions along with some anxiety as to the outcome of your new adventure.
By visiting this page, you have taken one of the hardest steps along the journey. This first step of exploration is for some, the most difficult to accomplish. We are often filled with mixed emotions about our substance use. Some of us are brutally aware that alcohol or drugs are destroying our lives, while others are getting mixed signals from friends, family and sometimes coworkers about how alcohol and or drugs are effecting our ability to live our lives.
If you have not done so already, you should obtain an alcohol or drug assessment (evaluation). This will help determine a diagnosis (if any) with regards to your alcohol and or drug use and provide you with a clear treatment plan if appropriate. Associated Behavioral Health Care specializes in assessments, however you may obtain an assessment at any State certified treatment facility or ask you primary care provider to go over you substance use history with you.
After the assessment, should it be determined that some form of intervention is necessary, the next step is to find a treatment agency that is State Certified, able to fit your scheduling and financial needs and most importantly, an agency you feel comfortable with.
At Associated Behavioral Health the entire management and staff are available to make your treatment journey successful and beneficial. This company accommodates a divergent population focused on examining old habits and values and learning new skills leading to a more productive, vibrant and satisfying lifestyle. Our staff members are professionals with specialized training in behavioral healthcare, here to help with your individual needs.
Take some time to answer the following questions:
• Why am I entering into this particular program?
• What will be the requirements of my program?
• What is the best mindset for me to succeed in this program?
While many of our clients enroll in the program voluntarily, others entering our programs are court ordered.
If you are here for a court or legal issue, even though these outside obligations are real it is important to understand this treatment facility is not the punishment arm of any social institution. The focus of treatment is to help you deal with a very serious and in some cases potentially fatal problem. Our desire is that you will be able to learn more about yourself and make the changes you need to make, enabling you to accomplish the grand plans you have for your life.
If you are in the program because you are court ordered, it is not uncommon to feel resentful about having to be here. You might be thinking that you really do not need this treatment. You may be experiencing feelings of shame, guilt, and anger when you start your program. Give yourself and the treatment process some time before you decide how you feel about it. It is our experience that people who can arrive at the attitude of being willing to open their mind to new ideas and learn what they can while they have to be here anyway, end up with a rewarding and positive experience. It is important to put a good effort into the program from the very beginning, even when you are uncertain as to the reason you are participating.
You might be wondering how you will know if you are succeeding in your program. There are signposts along the way that will help you evaluate your success. These could be:
• changing habits
• growing ability to communicate your needs
• acceptance of your responsibility for your actions and emotions
How do I get started?
Give us a call today!
As in any successful parachute jump, the key is to exit the plane correctly and stay focused on what you need to do to land safely on the ground. It is certain that unusual things will happen on your way down, but you can be confident that with the proper send off, your instructors will get you safely to the ground. Your treatment here is very similar. Our counselors, management and support staff are ready to assist you in your journey. We believe that once you are able to use your new skills to build more satisfying relationships, you will see that taking this step was the best thing you have ever done for yourself.
JUST STAY FOCUSED AND SUCCESS WILL BE YOURS!
Our Purpose Our purpose is to provide service of the highest quality and value while achieving mutual satisfaction through collaboration and creativity. Associated Behavioral Health Care is an innovative, person centered organization committed to meeting clients’ needs and exceeding their expectations In an atmosphere of trust and respect.
Our People Our people are the essence of our company. Together we create a safe, highly productive, and enjoyable environment, which challenges and enriches each individual.
Our Commitment Associated Behavioral Health is dedicated to long term relationships fostered by caring, commitment to clients’ well being, creative cooperation, and continual enhancement of our standards of excellence.
The People of Associated Behavioral Health
* Confidential * First appointment within 24 hours * Day, evening, and weekend sessions * Female counselors upon request * Same-day paperwork * Multiple payment options * Multiple locations * Preferred provider for most insurance * Sliding scale payment plans
Preferred provider for most insurance carriers
Call us today to schedule a same day evaluation/assessment.
Toll Free 800-858-6702 Bellevue (425) 646-7279 North Seattle (206) 781-2661 West Seattle (206) 935-1282
This work originally appeared in The Saturday Evening Post under the title “On the Water-Wagon.” [Pg 9]
CUTTING IT OUT
CHAPTER I WHY I QUIT
First off, let me state the object of the meeting: This is to be a record of sundry experiences centering round a stern resolve to get on the waterwagon and a sterner attempt to stay there. It is an entirely personal narrative of a strictly personal set of circumstances. It is not a temperance lecture, or a temperance tract, or a chunk of advice, or a shuddering recital of the woes of a horrible example,[Pg 10] or a warning, or an admonition—or anything at all but a plain tale of an adventure that started out rather vaguely and wound up rather satisfactorily. I am no brand that was snatched from the burning; no sot who picked himself or was picked from the gutter; no drunkard who almost wrecked a promising career; no constitutional or congenital souse. I drank liquor the same way hundreds of thousands of men drink it—drank liquor and attended to my business, and got along well, and kept my health, and provided for my family, and maintained my position in the community. I felt I had a perfect right[Pg 11] to drink liquor just as I had a perfect right to stop drinking it. I never considered my drinking in any way immoral. I was decent, respectable, a gentleman, who drank only with gentlemen and as a gentleman should drink if he pleases. I didn’t care whether any one else drank—and do not now. I didn’t care whether any one else cared whether I drank—and do not now. I am no reformer, no lecturer, no preacher. I quit because I wanted to, not because I had to. I didn’t swear off, nor take any vow, nor sign any pledge. I am no moral censor. It is even possible that I might go out this afternoon and take a drink. I am[Pg 12] quite sure I shall not—but I might. As far as my trip into Teetotal Land is concerned, it is an individual proposition and nothing else. I am no example for other men who drink as much as I did, or more, or less—but I assume my experiences are somewhat typical, for I am sure my drinking was very typical; and a recital of those experiences and the conclusions thereon is what is before the house. I quit drinking because I quit drinking. I had a very fair batting average in the Booze League—as good as I thought necessary; and I knew if I stopped when my record was good the situation would be satisfactory to me, whether it[Pg 13] was to any other person or not. Moreover, I figured it out that the time to stop drinking was when it wasn’t necessary to stop—not when it was necessary. I had been observing during the twenty years I had been drinking, more or less, and I had known a good many men who stopped drinking when the doctors told them to. Furthermore, it had been my observation that when a doctor tells a man to stop drinking it usually doesn’t make much difference whether he stops or not. In a good many cases he might just as well keep on and die happily, for he’s going to die anyhow; and the few months he will grab through his abstinence will[Pg 14] not amount to anything when the miseries of that abstinence are duly chalked up in the debit column. Therefore, applying the cold, hard logic of the situation to it, I decided to beat the liquor to it. That was the reason for stopping—purely selfish, personal, individual, and not concerned with the welfare of any other person on earth—just myself. I had taken good care of myself physically and I knew I was sound everywhere. I wasn’t sure how long I could keep sound and continue drinking. So I decided to stop drinking and keep sound. I noticed that a good many men of the same age as myself and the same habits as myself were beginning[Pg 15] to show signs of wear and tear. A number of them blew up with various disconcerting maladies and a number more died. Soon after I was forty years of age I noticed I began to go to funerals oftener than I had been doing—funerals of men between forty and forty-five I had known socially and convivially; that these funerals occurred quite regularly, and that the doctor’s certificate, more times than not, gave Bright’s Disease and other similar diseases in the cause-of-death column. All of these funerals were of men who were good fellows, and we mourned their loss. Also we generally took a few drinks to their memories.[Pg 16] Then came a time when this funeral business landed on me like a pile-driver. Inside of a year four or five of the men I had known best, the men I had loved best, the men who had been my real friends and my companions, died, one after another. Also some other friends developed physical derangements I knew were directly traceable to too much liquor. Both the deaths and the derangements had liquor as a contributing if not as a direct cause. Nobody said that, of course; but I knew it. So I held a caucus with myself. I called myself into convention and discussed the proposition somewhat like this:[Pg 17] “You are now over forty years of age. You are sound physically and you are no weaker mentally than you have always been, so far as can be discovered by the outside world. You have had a lot of fun, much of it complicated with the conviviality that comes with drinking and much of it not so complicated; but you have done your share of plain and fancy drinking, and it hasn’t landed you yet. There is absolutely no nutriment in being dead. That gets you nothing save a few obituary notices you will never see. There is even less in being sick and sidling around in everybody’s way. It’s as sure as sunset, if you keep on at your present[Pg 18] gait, that Mr. John Barleycorn will land you just as he has landed a lot of other people you know and knew. There are two methods of procedure open to you. One is to keep it up and continue having the fun you think you are having and take what is inevitably coming to you. The other is to quit it while the quitting is good and live a few more years—that may not be so rosy, but probably will have compensations.” I viewed it from every angle I could think of. I knew what sort of a job I had laid out to tackle if I quit. I weighed the whole thing in my mind in the light of my acquaintances, my experiences, my[Pg 19] position, my mode of life, my business. I had been through it many times. I had often gone on the waterwagon for periods varying in length from three days to three months. I wasn’t venturing into any uncharted territory. I knew every signpost, every crossroad, every foot of the ground. I knew the difficulties—knew them by heart. I wasn’t deluding myself with any assertions of superior will-power or superior courage—or superior anything. I knew I had a fixed daily habit of drinking, and that if I quit drinking I should have to reorganize the entire works.
This took some time. I didn’t dash into it. I had done that before, and had dashed out again just as impetuously. I revolved the matter in my mind for some weeks. Then I decided to quit. Then I did quit. Thereby hangs this tale. I went to a dinner one night that was a good dinner. It was a dinner that had every appurtenance that a good dinner should have, including the best things to drink that could be obtained, and lashings[Pg 22] of them. I proceeded at that dinner just as I had proceeded at scores of similar dinners in my time—hundreds of them, I guess—and took a drink every time anybody else did. I was a seasoned drinker. I knew how to do it. I went home that night pleasantly jingled, but no more. I slept well, ate a good breakfast and went down to business. On the way down I decided that this was the day to make the plunge. Having arrived at that decision, I went out about three o’clock that afternoon, drank a Scotch highball—a big, man’s-sized one—as a doch-an-doris, and quit. That was almost a year ago. I haven’t taken a drink since. It is[Pg 23] not my present intention ever to take another drink; but I am not tying myself down by any vows. It is not my present intention, I say; and I let it go at that. No man can be blamed for trying to fool other people about himself—that is the way most of us get past; but what can be said for a man who tries to fool himself? Every man knows exactly how bogus he is and should admit it—to himself only. The man who, knowing his bogusness, refuses to admit it to himself—no matter what his attitude may be to the outside world—simply stores up trouble for himself, and discomfort and much else. There are many[Pg 24] phases of personal understanding of oneself that need not be put in the newspapers or proclaimed publicly. Still, for a man to gold-brick himself is a profitless undertaking, but prevalent notwithstanding. When it comes to fooling oneself by oneself, the grandest performers are the boys who have a habit—no matter what kind of a habit—a habit! It may be smoking cigarettes, or walking pigeontoed, or talking through the nose, or drinking—or anything else. Any man can see with half an eye how drinking, for example, is hurting Jones; but he always argues that his own personal drinking is of a different variety and is doing him no harm.[Pg 25] The best illustration of it is in the old vaudeville story, where the man came on the stage and said: “Smith is drinking too much! I never go into a saloon without finding him there!” That is the reason drinking liquor gets so many people—either by wrecking their health or by fastening on them the habit they cannot stop. They fool themselves. They are perfectly well aware that their neighbors are drinking too much—but not themselves. Far be it from them not to have the will-power to stop when it is time to stop. They are smarter than their neighbors. They know what they are doing. And suddenly the explosions come![Pg 26] There are hundreds of thousands of men in all walks of life in this country who for twenty or thirty years have never lived a minute when there was not more or less alcohol in their systems, who cannot be said to have been strictly and entirely sober in all that time, but who do their work, perform all their social duties, make their careers and are fairly successful just the same. There has been more flub-dub printed and spoken about drinking liquor than about any other employment, avocation, vocation, habit, practice or pleasure of mankind. Drinking liquor is a personal proposition, and nothing else.[Pg 27] It is individual in every human relation. Still, you cannot make the reformers see that. They want other people to stop drinking because they want other people to stop. So they make laws that are violated, and get pledges that are broken and try to legislate or preach or coax or scare away a habit that must, in any successful outcome, be stopped by the individual, and not because of any law or threat or terror or cajolery. This is the human-nature side of it, but the professional reformers know less about human nature, and care less, than about any other phase of life. Still, the fact remains that with any habit, and especially[Pg 28] with the liquor habit—probably because that is the most prevalent habit there is—nine-tenths of the subjects delude themselves about how much of a habit they have; and, second, that nine-tenths of those with the habit have a very clear idea of the extent to which the habit is fastened on others. They are fooled about themselves, but never about their neighbors! Wherefore the breweries and the distilleries prosper exceedingly. However, I am straying away from my story, which has to do with such drinking as the ordinary man does—not sprees, nor debauches, or orgies, or periodicals,[Pg 29] or drunkenness, but just the ordinary amount of drinking that happens along in a man’s life, with a little too much on rare occasions and plenty at all times. A German I knew once told me the difference between Old-World drinking and American drinking was that the German, for example, drinks for the pleasure of the drink, while the American drinks for the alcohol in it. That may be so; but very few men who have any sense or any age set out deliberately to get drunk. Such drunkenness as there is among men of that sort usually comes more by accident than by design. My definition of a drunkard has[Pg 30] always been this: A man is a drunkard when he drinks whisky or any other liquor before breakfast. I think that is pretty nearly right. Personally I never took a drink of liquor before breakfast in my life and not many before noon. Usually my drinking began in the afternoon after business, and was likely to end before dinnertime—not always, but usually.
I had been drinking thus for practically twenty years. I did not drink at all until after I was twenty-one and not much until after I was twenty-five. When I got to be thirty-two or thirty-three and had gone along a little in the world, I fell in with men of my own station; and as I lived in a town where nearly everybody drank, including many of the successful business and professional men—men of affairs—I soon got into their habits. Naturally gregarious,[Pg 32] I found these men good company. They were sociable and convivial, and drank for the fun of it and the fun that came out of it. My business took me to various parts of the country and I made acquaintances among men like these—the real live ones in the communities. They were good fellows. So was I. The result was that in a few years I had a list of friends from California to Maine—all of whom drank; and I was never at a loss for company or highballs. Then I moved to a city where there isn’t much of anything else to do but drink at certain times in the day, a city where men from all parts of the country congregate[Pg 33] and where the social side of life is highly accentuated. I kept along with the procession. I did my work satisfactorily to my employers and I did my drinking satisfactorily to myself. This continued for several years. I had a fixed habit. I drank several drinks each day. Sometimes I drank more than several. My system was organized to digest about so much alcohol every twenty-four hours. So far as I could see, the drinking did me no harm. I was well. My appetite was good. I slept soundly. My head was clear. My work proceeded easily and was getting fair recognition. Then some of the boys[Pg 34] began dropping off and some began breaking down. I had occasional mornings, after big dinners or specially convivial affairs, when I did not feel very well—when I was out of tune and knew why. Still, I continued as of old, and thought nothing of it except as the regular katzenjammer—to be expected. Presently I woke up to what was happening round me. I looked the game over critically. I analyzed it coldly and calmly. I put every advantage of my mode of life on one side and every disadvantage; and I put on the other side every disadvantage of a change in procedure and every advantage. There were times when I thought the present[Pg 35] mode had by far the better of it, and times when the change contemplated outweighed the other heavily. Here is the way it totted up against quitting: Practically every friend you have in the United States—and you’ve got a lot of them—drinks more or less. You have not cultivated any other line of associates. If you quit drinking, you will necessarily have to quit a lot of these friends, and quit their parties and company—for a man who doesn’t drink is always a death’s-head at a feast or merrymaking where drinking is going on. Your social intercourse with these people is predicated on taking an[Pg 36] occasional drink, in going to places where drinks are served, both public and at homes. The kind of drinking you do makes greatly for sociability, and you are a sociable person and like to be round with congenial people. You will miss a lot of fun, a lot of good, clever companionship, for you are too old to form a new line of friends. Your whole game is organized along these lines. Why make a hermit of yourself just because you think drinking may harm you? Cut it down. Take care of yourself. Don’t be such a fool as to try to change your manner of living just when you have an opportunity to live as[Pg 37] you should and enjoy what is coming to you. This is the way it lined up for quitting: So far, liquor hasn’t done anything to you except cause you to waste some time that might have been otherwise employed; but it will get you, just as it has landed a lot of your friends, if you stay by it. Wouldn’t it be better to miss some of this stuff you have come to think of as fun, and live longer? There is no novelty in drinking to you. You haven’t an appetite that cannot be checked, but you will have if you stick to it much longer. Why not quit and take a chance at a new mode of[Pg 38] living, especially when you know absolutely that every health reason, every future-prospect reason, every atom of good sense in you, tells you there is nothing to be gained by keeping at it, and that all may be lost? Well, I pondered over that a long time. I had watched miserable wretches who had struggled to stay on the waterwagon—sometimes with amusement. I knew what they had to stand if they tried to associate with their former companions; I knew the apparent difficulties and the disadvantages of this new mode of life. On the other hand, I was convinced that, so far as I was concerned, without trying[Pg 39] to lay down a rule for any other man, I would be an ass if I didn’t quit it immediately, while I was well and all right, instead of waiting until I had to quit on a doctor’s orders, or got to that stage when I couldn’t quit. It was no easy thing to make the decision. It is hard to change the habits and associations of twenty years! I had a good understanding of myself. I was no hero. I liked the fun of it, the companionship of it, better than any one. I like my friends and, I hope and think, they like me. It seemed to me that I needed it in my business, for I was always dealing with men who did drink.[Pg 40] I wrestled with it for some weeks. I thought it all out, up one side and down the other. Then I quit. Also I stayed quit. And believe me, ladies and gentlemen and all others present, it was no fool of a job. I have learned many things since I went on the waterwagon for fair—many things about my fellowmen and many things about myself. Most of these things radiate round the innate hypocrisy of the human being. All those that do not concern his hypocrisy concern his lying—which, I reckon, when you come to stack them up together, amounts to the same thing. I have learned that I had been fooling myself and[Pg 41] that others had been fooling me. I gathered experience every day. And some of the things I have learned I shall set down. You have all known the man who says he quit drinking and never thought of drink again. He is a liar. He doesn’t exist. No man in this world who had a daily habit of drinking ever quit and never thought of drinking again. Many men, because they habitually lie to themselves, think they have done this; but they haven’t. The fact is, no man with a daily habit of drinking ever quit and thought of anything else than how good a drink would taste and feel for a time after he quit. He couldn’t and[Pg 42] he didn’t. I don’t care what any of them say. I know. Further, the man who tells you he never takes a drink until five o’clock in the afternoon, or three o’clock in the afternoon, or only drinks with his meals, or only takes two or three drinks a day, usually is a liar, too—not always, but usually. There are some machine-like, non-imaginative persons who can do this—drink by rote or by rule; but not many. Now I do not say many men do not think they drink this way, but most of these men are simply fooling themselves. Again, this proposition of cutting down drinks to two or three[Pg 43] a day is all rot. Of what use to any person are two or three drinks a day? I mean to any person who drinks for the fun of it, as I did and as most of my friends do yet. What kind of a human being is he who comes into a club and takes one cocktail and no more?—or one highball? He’s worse, from any view-point of sociability, than a man who drinks a glass of water. At least the man who drinks the water isn’t fooling himself or trying to be part one thing and part another. The way to quit drinking is to quit drinking. That is all there is to that. This paltering along with two or three drinks a day is mere cowardice. It is neither one[Pg 44] thing nor the other. And I am here to say, also, that nine out of every ten men who say they only take two or three drinks a day are liars, just the same as the men who say they quit and never think of it again. They may not think they are liars, or intend to be liars; but they are liars just the same. Well, as I may have intimated, I quit drinking. I drank that last, lingering Scotch highball—and quit! I decided the no-liquor end of it was the better end, and I took that end. [Pg 45]
CHAPTER IV WHEN I QUIT
For purposes of comprehensive record I have divided the various stages of my waterwagoning into these parts: the obsession stage; the caramel stage; the pharisaical stage, and the safe-and-sane stage. I drank my Scotch highball and went over to the club. The crowd was there; I sat down at a table and when somebody asked me what I’d have I took a glass of water. Several of my friends looked inquiringly at me and one asked: “On the wagon?” This attracted[Pg 46] the attention of the entire group to my glass of water. I came in for a good deal of banter, mostly along the line that it was time I went on the wagon. This was varied with predictions that I would stay on from an hour to a day or so. I didn’t like that talk, but I bluffed it out—weakly, to be sure. I said I had decided it wouldn’t do me any harm to cool out a bit. Next day, along about first-drink time, I felt a craving for a highball. I didn’t take it. That evening I went over to the club again. The crowd was there. I was asked to have a drink. This time I rather defiantly ordered a glass of water. The same jests were made, but I[Pg 47] drank my water. On the third day I was a bit shaky—sort of nervous. I didn’t feel like work. I couldn’t concentrate my mind on anything. I kept thinking of various kinds of drinks and how good they would taste. I tried out the club. I may have imagined it, but I thought my old friends lacked interest in my advent at the table. One of them said: “Oh, for Heaven’s sake, take a drink! You’ve got a terrible grouch on.” I backed out. I did have a grouch. I was sore at everybody in the world. Also, I kept thinking how much I would like to have a drink. That was natural. I had accustomed my system to digest a certain amount of alcohol[Pg 48] every day. I wasn’t supplying that alcohol. My system needed it and howled for it. I knew a man who had been a drunkard but who had quit and who hadn’t taken a drink for twelve years. I discussed the problem with him. He told me an eminent specialist had told him it takes eighteen months for a man who has been a heavy drinker or a steady drinker to get all the alcohol out of his system. I hadn’t been a heavy drinker, but I had been a steady drinker; and that information gave me a cold chill. I thought if I were to have this craving for a drink every day for eighteen months, surely I had let myself in for a lovely task![Pg 49] I stuck for a week—for two weeks—for three weeks. At the end of that time my friends had grown accustomed to this idiosyncrasy and were making bets on how long I would last. I didn’t go round where they were much. I was as lonesome as a stray dog in a strange alley. I had carefully cultivated a large line of drinking acquaintances and I hardly knew a congenial person who didn’t drink. That was the hardest part of the game. I wasn’t fit company for man or beast. I don’t blame my friends—not a bit. I was cross and ugly and hypercritical and generally nasty, and they passed me up. However, the craving for liquor[Pg 50] decreased to some degree. There were some periods in the day when I didn’t think how good a drink would taste, and did devote myself to my work. I discovered a few things. One was that, no matter how much fun I missed in the evening, I didn’t get up with a taste in my mouth. I had no katzenjammers. After a week or so I went to sleep easily and slept like a child. Then the caramel stage arrived. I acquired a sudden craving for candy. I had not eaten any candy for years, for men who drink regularly rarely take sweets. One day I looked in a confectioner’s window and was irresistibly attracted[Pg 51] by a box of caramels. I went in and bought it, and ate half a dozen. They seemed to fill a long-felt want. The sugar in them supplied the stimulant that was lacking, I suppose. Anyhow, they tasted right good and were satisfactory; and I kept a box of caramels on my desk for several weeks and ate a few each day. Also I began to yell for ice cream and pie and other sweets with my meals. Along about this time I developed the pharisaical stage. I looked with a great pity on my friends who persisted in drinking. I assumed some little airs of superiority and congratulated myself on my great will-power that had enabled me to[Pg 52] quit drinking. They were steadily drinking themselves to death. I could see that plainly. There was nothing else to it. I was a fine sample of a full-blown prig. I went so far as to explain the case to one or two, and I got hooted at for my pains; so I lapsed into my condition of immense superiority and said: “Oh, well, if they won’t take advice from me, who knows, let them go along. Poor chaps, I am afraid they are lost!” It’s a wonder somebody didn’t take an ax to me. I deserved it. After lamenting—to myself—the sad fates of my former companions and pluming myself on my noble course, I woke up one day and[Pg 53] kicked myself round the park. “Here!” I said. “You chump, what business have you got putting on airs about your non-drinking and parading yourself round here as a giant example of self-restraint? Where do you get off as a preacher—or a censor, or a reformer—in this matter? Who appointed you as the apostle of non-drinking? Take a tumble to yourself and close up!” That was the beginning of the safe-and-sane stage, which still persists. It came about the end of the second month. I had lost all desire for liquor; and, though there were times when I missed the sociability of drinking fearfully, I was as[Pg 54] steady as a rock in my policy of abstaining from drinks of all kinds. Now it doesn’t bother me at all. I am riding jauntily on the wagon, without a chance of falling off. At the time I decided it was up to me to stop this pharisaical foolishness, I took a new view of things; decided I wasn’t so much, after all; ceased reprobating my friends who wanted to drink; had no advice to offer, and stopped pointing to myself as a heroic young person who had accomplished a gigantic task. Friends had tolerated me. I wondered that they had, for I was a sad affair. Surely it was up to me to be as tolerant as they had been, notwithstanding[Pg 55] my new mode of life. So I stopped foreboding and tried to accustom my friends to my company on a strictly water basis. The attempt was not entirely successful. I dropped out of a good many gatherings where formerly I should have been one of the bright and shining lights. There are no two ways about it—a man cannot drink water in a company where others are drinking highballs and get into the game with any effectiveness. Any person who quits drinking may as well accept that as a fact; and most persons will stop trying after a time and seek new diversions; or begin drinking again. [Pg 57]
CHAPTER V AFTER I QUIT
I had a good lively tilt with John Barleycorn, ranging over twenty years. I know all about drinking. I figured it this way: I have about fifteen more good, productive years in me. After that I shall lose in efficiency, even if I keep my health. Being selfish and perhaps getting sensible, I desire the remaining productive years of my life to be years of the greatest efficiency. Looking back over my drinking years, I saw, if I was to attain and keep that greatest efficiency,[Pg 58] that was my job, and that it could not be complicated with any booze-fighting whatsoever. I decided that what I might lose in the companionship and social end of it I would gain in my own personal increase in horsepower; for I knew that though drinking may have done me no harm, it certainly did me no good, and that, if persisted in, it surely would do me harm in some way or other. Sizing it up, one side against the other, I conclude that it is better for me not to drink. I find I have much more time that I can devote to my business; that I think more clearly, feel better, do not make any loose statements under the exhilaration[Pg 59] of alcohol, and keep my mind on my number constantly. The item of time is the surprising item. It is astonishing how much time you have to do things in that formerly you used to drink in, with the accompaniment of all the piffle that goes with drinking! When you are drinking you are never too busy to take a drink and never too busy not to stop. You are busy all the time—but get nowhere. Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Any man who has been accustomed to do the kind of drinking I did for twenty years, who likes the sociability and the companionship of it, will find that the sudden transition to a non-drinking life[Pg 60] will leave him with a pretty dull existence on his hands until he gets reorganized. This is the depressing part of it. You have nowhere to go and nothing to do. Still, though you may miss the fun of the evening, you have all your drinking friends lashed to the mast in the morning.
By the Same Author
THE FUN OF GETTING THIN
Another delightful book by Mr. Blythe, in which he discusses surplus avoirdupois. It tells fat people how to get thin, and thin people will get fat laughing over its delicious humor. Some extracts from the book “A fat man is a joke; and a fat woman is two jokes—one on herself and the other on her husband.” “Half the comedy in the world is predicated on the paunch.” “Fat, the doctors say, is fatal. I move to amend by striking out the last two letters of the indictment. Fat is fat.” Attractively bound. Price, 35cFor sale wherever books are sold or supplied by the publishers FORBES & COMPANY, CHICAGO
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Believe it or not there are two different types of alcoholics. Type I are influenced more by environment than heredity. The onset of symptoms doesn’t usually occur until after the age of 25. Psychological dependence is in their personality traits. They tend to admit and accept the root of the problem is alcohol, and can use this acceptance to avoid blame long enough to continue drinking for some time.
Heredity influences a Type II alcoholic. These alcoholics are usually younger and more antisocial. Having a more difficult time abstaining. They often grew up in an alcoholic home with little understanding of a functioning family life. Also they have a deep sense of isolation and solitude.
There is yet another type of alcoholic and it is called a Dry Drunk. The characteristics of this type of alcoholic is that they have a mindset of an active alcoholic while they abstain from alcohol. They still maintain alcoholic thought, patterns, and behaviors with a combined mindset of always being right.
Long-term effect of alcoholism are liver cirrhsois, alcohol will cause cells to die in the liver this causes hardening. There is damage to the nervous system that brain cells die this is a long term side effect of alcohol. Stomach and intestinal ulcers degrade the lining of the stomach, and they start coughing up bloof. An alcoholics bloof pressure is increased making the heart compensate, this creates bigger problems.
There are many other long-term side effects of alcoholism, they include: a decrease in sperm profuction; an increase in bloof flow to the skin; anemia, which is low bloof and poor nutrition skills which decrease levels of iron and vitamin B; reduces bloof flow to the muscles, leading to muscle aches and hangover; and makes aging appear fasteer, especially in the face.
These Are the Complications of Alcoholism
Complications of alcoholism is defined as excessive drinking over a long period of time creating medical, psychological, and social problems for the alcoholic. As months or years of drinking has passed, the nervous system gets used to the alcohol therefore it develops a tolerance. Despite adverse effects, the person continues to drink and will likely increase the amount and frequency. Over time, withdrawal symptoms (high blood pressure, tremors), a sign of physical dependence, may develop when not using.
This becomes to be a cycle of abuse, being at risk of dependence starts.
Medical complications of alcoholism are: alcohol damages the organ systems even blood-forming (anemia, easy bruising), cardiovascular (abnormal heartbeat, heart failure, high blood pressure, increased heart rate), gastrointestinal (diarrhea, gastritis, inflammation and/or cancer of the esophagus), elevated risk of communicable diseases (TB), liver damage, low blood sugar, hepatitis, liver cancer, and ulcers.
The neurological complications of alcoholism are: confusion, loss of coordination and concentration, nerve damage, psychosis, short-term memory problems, stroke, and visual difficulties.
Suffering in a relationship, high divorce rates or separation, domestic violence, aggressive behaviour, legal problems, high death rates are some of the social problems of alcoholism.
There are psychological complications that are associated to alcoholism they are: 44% of alcoholics have mental health disorders that were present before dependence; mood disorders, and major depression can occur after dependence.
Questions focus on two aspects: the consequence of the drinking and the perceptions of the drinking behavior. Clinics determine risk for abuse and dependence based on how much and how often a person drinks.
About the Author: Please feel free to republish this article on your website, or distribute it to your friends or clients, as long as you leave the resource box intact.
Welcome to the first step in changing your relationship to alcohol and drugs forever!
No matter what has brought you to this point in life it is always exciting to stand at the doorway of a new adventure. Just imagine the questions you might have if, at this moment you were standing in the doorway of an airplane anticipating your first parachute jump. At that moment you might be filled with a variety of emotions and questions along with some anxiety as to the outcome of your new adventure.
By visiting this page, you have taken one of the hardest steps along the journey. This first step of exploration is for some, the most difficult to accomplish. We are often filled with mixed emotions about our substance use. Some of us are brutally aware that alcohol or drugs are destroying our lives, while others are getting mixed signals from friends, family and sometimes coworkers about how alcohol and or drugs are effecting our ability to live our lives.
If you have not done so already, you should obtain an alcohol or drug assessment (evaluation). This will help determine a diagnosis (if any) with regards to your alcohol and or drug use and provide you with a clear treatment plan if appropriate. Associated Behavioral Health Care specializes in assessments, however you may obtain an assessment at any State certified treatment facility or ask you primary care provider to go over you substance use history with you.
After the assessment, should it be determined that some form of intervention is necessary, the next step is to find a treatment agency that is State Certified, able to fit your scheduling and financial needs and most importantly, an agency you feel comfortable with.
At Associated Behavioral Health the entire management and staff are available to make your treatment journey successful and beneficial. This company accommodates a divergent population focused on examining old habits and values and learning new skills leading to a more productive, vibrant and satisfying lifestyle. Our staff members are professionals with specialized training in behavioral healthcare, here to help with your individual needs.
Take some time to answer the following questions:
• Why am I entering into this particular program?
• What will be the requirements of my program?
• What is the best mindset for me to succeed in this program?
While many of our clients enroll in the program voluntarily, others entering our programs are court ordered.
If you are here for a court or legal issue, even though these outside obligations are real it is important to understand this treatment facility is not the punishment arm of any social institution. The focus of treatment is to help you deal with a very serious and in some cases potentially fatal problem. Our desire is that you will be able to learn more about yourself and make the changes you need to make, enabling you to accomplish the grand plans you have for your life.
If you are in the program because you are court ordered, it is not uncommon to feel resentful about having to be here. You might be thinking that you really do not need this treatment. You may be experiencing feelings of shame, guilt, and anger when you start your program. Give yourself and the treatment process some time before you decide how you feel about it. It is our experience that people who can arrive at the attitude of being willing to open their mind to new ideas and learn what they can while they have to be here anyway, end up with a rewarding and positive experience. It is important to put a good effort into the program from the very beginning, even when you are uncertain as to the reason you are participating.
You might be wondering how you will know if you are succeeding in your program. There are signposts along the way that will help you evaluate your success. These could be:
• changing habits
• growing ability to communicate your needs
• acceptance of your responsibility for your actions and emotions
How do I get started?
Give us a call today!
As in any successful parachute jump, the key is to exit the plane correctly and stay focused on what you need to do to land safely on the ground. It is certain that unusual things will happen on your way down, but you can be confident that with the proper send off, your instructors will get you safely to the ground. Your treatment here is very similar. Our counselors, management and support staff are ready to assist you in your journey. We believe that once you are able to use your new skills to build more satisfying relationships, you will see that taking this step was the best thing you have ever done for yourself.
JUST STAY FOCUSED AND SUCCESS WILL BE YOURS!
Our Purpose Our purpose is to provide service of the highest quality and value while achieving mutual satisfaction through collaboration and creativity. Associated Behavioral Health Care is an innovative, person centered organization committed to meeting clients’ needs and exceeding their expectations In an atmosphere of trust and respect.
Our People Our people are the essence of our company. Together we create a safe, highly productive, and enjoyable environment, which challenges and enriches each individual.
Our Commitment Associated Behavioral Health is dedicated to long term relationships fostered by caring, commitment to clients’ well being, creative cooperation, and continual enhancement of our standards of excellence.
The People of Associated Behavioral Health
* Confidential * First appointment within 24 hours * Day, evening, and weekend sessions * Female counselors upon request * Same-day paperwork * Multiple payment options * Multiple locations * Preferred provider for most insurance * Sliding scale payment plans
Preferred provider for most insurance carriers
Call us today to schedule a same day evaluation/assessment.
Toll Free 800-858-6702 Bellevue (425) 646-7279 North Seattle (206) 781-2661 West Seattle (206) 935-1282
Building Teen Self-Esteem
by: Amy Otis, RN
What
is Self-Esteem?
Healthy
self-esteem means thinking as highly of yourself as you
think of your friends and peers. We are so used to negative
feedback that we are more aware of our weaknesses than our
strengths. We are often taught we will “fail”,
so it is often hard to enjoy success, no matter how small
each “success” might be.
According
to Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D., noted author and expert on the
subject, “Self-esteem is the experience of being competent
to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy
of happiness.”
Why is High Self-Esteem Necessary?
As Branden
notes, “Positive self-esteem is the immune system of
the spirit, helping an individual face life problems and bounce
back from adversity.” So, high self-esteem is crucial
during the turbulence of your teenage years.
How Can A Teen Build Self-Esteem?
The
process is simple, but putting it to work is difficult. Self-esteem
is built upon the experience of success. Think of it as a
circular process. When people experience success, they grow
in self-confidence. As self-confidence grows, they feel empowered
to face new challenges. As they succeed in confronting each
challenge, they develop the capacity to cope with whatever
life throws their way. That feeling leads to further growth
of self-confidence, self-reliance and self-esteem.
To Maintain Healthy Self-Esteem…
Celebrate
your strengths and achievements.
Forgive
yourself for your mistakes.
Don’t
dwell on your weaknesses, every human has them.
Change
the way you talk to yourself — stop putting yourself
down!
Be
sure that you are not judging yourself against unreasonable
standards.
Beating
yourself for your weaknesses is self defeating.
Use that energy for positive thoughts about you.
People With High Self-Esteem Are:
Able
to accept and learn from their own mistakes.
Confident
without being obnoxious or conceited.
Not
devastated by criticism.
Not
overly defensive when questioned.
Not
easily defeated by setbacks and obstacles.
Unlikely
to feel a need to put others down.
Open
and assertive in communicating their needs.
Not
overly worried about failing or looking foolish.
Not
harshly or destructively critical of themselves.
Not
aggressively driven to prove themselves.
Able
to laugh at themselves, not taking themselves too
seriously.
Why Do You Think You Have So Few Strengths Worth Celebrating?
Because
everyone has always pointed out your shortcomings?
Because
you rarely get any positive feedback for a job well
done?
Because
the things you do well are so familiar to you that
you take them for granted?
Because
you have learned to focus only on your mistakes?
When You Make A Mistake, Do You Say:
What
an idiot! How can you be so stupid!
Can’t
you get anything right! What a loser!
There
you go again! You’re not really up to it, are you?!!
Who
else has talked to you this way in the past?
Why Are You Still Listening To Them?
You
can’t change your past, but you can change the way
you talk to yourself today.
Start
by making a LONG list of all the good things you
have ever done.
Catch
yourself saying nasty things to yourself, then STOP.
Recite
your list of achievements to yourself.
Convince
yourself to be proud of what you have done and of
what you are working on doing, on anything you have
done for another person, on any improvement in your
school work, or on how well you manage your time,
your money, your friends, your schedule, etc.
Affirmations for Self-Esteem
There
are many things I do successfully. (Write them down
if you have to.)
I
can improve my self-esteem by meeting
color="#6C18B0">my own
expectations.
I
don’t have to strive for perfection to approve of
myself.
My
worth as a human being does not depend upon achieving
a perfect weight, or by being the smartest, or the
most popular, or the fastest, or having the highest
grades, or being the funniest, or having the coolest
friends, or getting into the best college, or… (you fill in the rest !)
I
alone am responsible for the decisions I make.
I
am a unique individual.
Persistence
will help me succeed.
Every
mistake I make can be an opportunity to learn. I
can’t be afraid to make mistakes, this is how I
learn to improve.
I
deserve support and will ask for help when I need
it.
I
have the power to forgive myself for past mistakes.
I
will treat myself as someone special.
I
determine what success means to me.
Now
you make up some of your own!
What
is Success?
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
To
laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of
children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
And endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty,
To find the best in others,
To leave the world a bit better; whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To know that one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
April is observed as “Alcohol Awareness Month”. It is to educate, teach, and focus on the awareness of underage drinking, alcohol abuse, treatment, and other related issues.
Steps
Talk with your kids. Getting the word across to your kids or teenagers about alcohol usage is very important. Many parents don’t realize what their kids do after school, at a friend’s house, or at a party. Teen peer pressure is one of the top reasons why kids start to drink.
Avoid alcohol whenever possible at parties. Have fun with mock drinks or sparkling cider. If alcohol is on the drink list, have a system of taking away vehicle keys as they step in the door. Never let a drunk, even tipsy, person drive. If it’s necessary, call a taxi or cab and have them pick their car up in the morning.
Get employees to double check age. Depending upon the law of the country or state, a business or owner may be fined if the purchase of alcohol is sold to a minor. Bouncers, cashiers, and bartenders should double check and verify the actual birth date along with the current photo on the I.D.
Know the effects of alcohol and pregnancy. The two items should never be mixed together. Fetal disorders may include low birth weight, prematurity, birth defects, and even death (miscarriage). Having a glass of wine is not a substitute or an excuse for “needing some”. Even the amount of caffeine taken should be monitored and in moderation.
Convince loved ones to seek advice. Go with them to an AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) group session. Anything that is said within that room, stays in that room. Anyone can remain anonymous; as the share of names is fully optional. Group sessions make people feel more comfortable because no one is alone in the world, they understand that there is another person dealing with the issue, and they can find ways and suggestions to help one another.
Teach and educate in school. Teachers and other guidance counselors can educate teenagers in school about alcohol abuse and the effects on it. Because this observance is for a month, create projects, essays, or lesson plans about it. Copy brochures and other flyers relating to the daily lesson plan.
Tips
If your kids don’t listen, either hide any alcohol that is in the house or lock cabinets.
Suicide
is the second leading cause of death among people between
the ages of 14 to 25 in the United States! Every
100 minutes another teenager will commit suicide.
An estimated
276,000 teenagers between the ages of 14 and 17 will try to
kill themselves each year. About 5000 will succeed.
(According to the Centers for Disease Control
and Prevention)
Statistics
were taken from a 2003 survey of college and high school students
by the CDC.
Twenty-seven percent of high school students said they had
“thought seriously” about killing themselves during
the past year. Eight percent said they had actually tried
to kill themselves.
Ten percent of U.S. college students admitted serious thoughts
about suicide. Seven percent had a suicide plan.
More
than 30,000 Americans commit suicide each year, and 5,000
of these people are teenagers. Although one of every eight
teenagers suffers with depression, the diagnosis is often
missed, as depressive symptoms
are often mistaken for the typical ‘ups and downs’ of teenage
life. Even in societies where suicide is illegal or taboo,
people still kill themselves.
Most suicides
occur in the home between 3 PM to midnight. There are 30 to
50 times as many attempted suicides as completed suicides.
Four times as many males complete suicide than females, but
female teens attempt suicide twice as frequently as male teenagers.
Statistics also show that kids from high-income families kill
themselves as often as those from poor or middle-class teens.
For every
teenage suicide, there are more than 100 unsuccessful attempts.
â€Copycat†suicides spread the tragedy even further.
The behavioral patterns found in the backgrounds of most suicide
victims, stress, confusion, self-doubt, the pressure to succeed,
and financial uncertainty are normal emotions that many teens
feel. So it is often difficult to predict who may be at risk.
People
who talk about suicide often commit suicide. All talk about
suicide should be taken seriously. People often have opposing
feelings about whether or not they want to die, so there is
always hope that they can change their minds if they receive
professional help. Many who attempt suicide are under the
influence of drugs or alcohol. Be aware of this signal. Many
attempts are impulsive acts; be aware of those systems.
Suicide
attempts are frequently made during periods of high-anxiety;
if the stress is relieved, the attempter may change his or
her mind. If you suspect a friend is contemplating suicide,
take the initiative and just ask the person, “Are you
thinking about killing or harming yourself?” and “How
are you going to kill yourself?” This will often get
them to talk about it. Be straight with them, get right to
the subject. Give them the phone number of a local suicide hotline; there is a number in almost
every phone book and on the Internet. In the U.S., call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline 1-800-999-9999. The Suicide National Hotline
in the U.S. is: 1-800-784-2433.
The person may get angry with you initially, but it may save
your friend’s or child’s life.
Some people
who are suicidal are very good at hiding their emotional pain,
that is why it’s fine to just come out and ask if you
think someone is hurting on the inside. Very often those people
are appearing cheerful and popular on the outside to mask
their pain and suicidal thoughts on the inside.
Your concern
and intervention may be all that is needed to get him or her
to vent their feelings and change his or her mind. If someone
exhibits self-destructive behavior, this is often a warning
sign that he or she is seriously considering suicide, not
just trying to get attention, as it was once thought.
Remember,
just because a suicidal person may get professional help and
overcome his suicidal feelings, this in itself does not mean
those feelings will not return, especially when the person
is confronted once again by the stress and the problems that
caused him or her to consider suicide in the first place.
Often teens think they are immortal. Remind anyone who is
talking about killing themselves that suicide is very permanent
and that you care if they are here with you in this world.
The numbers
are disturbing to adults, and yet, they only partially convey
the tragedy of teen and young adult suicide. Each and every
victim leaves behind a void in the hearts of their friends,
their schools and an ongoing ache in the hearts of their families
and loved ones. I know, I am one of them.
Some
Warning Signs of Suicide
Some warning
signs of suicide are:
depression
anger
or hostility
inability
to feel pleasure
feeling
hopeless
guilt
isolation
or withdrawal
insomnia
loss
of appetite
preoccupation
with death
giving
things away that were once valued
ending
significant relationships or commitments (breaking
up)
sudden
uplift in mood after depression
sudden
change in behavior or disruptive behavior
promiscuity
(being very sexually active)
severe
outbursts of temper
excessive
substance use
absence
from school or work
inability
to carry out normal tasks of daily life
inability
to laugh
Some
Types of Suicidal Behaviors
About
60% of teen suicide deaths occur using a hand gun. Teen girls
attempt suicide far more often than guys (about nine times),
but guys are about four times more likely to succeed. Why
is this different?
Male teens
tend to use more deadly methods, like guns or hanging themselves.
Girls most often attempt suicide by overdosing with medication
or by some form of self-injury.
Suicide deaths can occur from pills, medications and other
harmful substances, especially if these substances are mixed.
Sometimes
a depressed person plans an act of suicide in advance. (Often
the planning of an act gives the person some feeling of control).
Most often however, suicide attempts are “impulsive actsâ€.
These acts occur during a time of feeling overwhelmingly upset.
A situation like a breakup, an unintended pregnancy,
the death of a sibling, a fight with
a parent or boyfriend or girlfriend, being harmed by abuse
or rape, or being victimized
in any way can cause a young person to feel desperately upset.
“Coming out†for homosexual
teens can also lead to suicidal attempts if that person is
no longer accepted by their family or friends.
In situations
such as these, teens may fear humiliation, rejection, social
isolation, or another consequence they think they can’t
handle. Suicide attempts occur under conditions like this
because in desperation and confusion, some teens see no other
way out.
Risk
Factors For Teenage Suicide:
Previous
Attempts — Teens who attempt suicide
remain vulnerable for several years, especially
for the first three months following an attempt.
These people may become very clever about hiding
their true feelings. Keep in contact with them.
Personal
Failure — High standards (the teen’s
or the parents’) that are not met, even after
only one setback, may set off a downward spiral
ending in suicide.
Recent
Loss — Death of close friends or family,
divorce, breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend
may leave a teenager so lost and alone that suicide
seems the only option.
Substance
Abuse — Some teens abuse drugs or
alcohol to self-medicate overwhelming depression;
a combination of depression, substance abuse,
and lowered impulse control can end in a suicide
attempt. This is often a fatal combination.
Family
Handguns — A gun in the house may
make it easy for a troubled teen to commit suicide;
children of law-enforcement officers have a much
higher rate of suicide because of the accessibility
of guns. If you think your son or friend is in
danger of harming himself, please have someone
remove that gun from the home!
Family
Violence — Violence in the home teaches
youths that the way to resolve conflict is through
violence.
Lack
of Communication — The inability to
discuss angry or uncomfortable feelings within
the family can lead to suicide. Anger turned inward
often leads to depression.
Remember, if someone you know says, “I want to kill
myself”, or “I’m going to commit suicide”,
take the statements seriously and immediately seek the help
of a trusted adult, such a teacher, nurse, parent or counselor.
Experts feel it’s okay to ask a depressed teen if he
or she is thinking about suicide. Asking this question provides
assurance that somebody cares and might give the young person
the opportunity to talk about their problems. Also, take the
time to learn more about depression.
You might just save a life. The death of a young person is
always a tragedy.
People with schizophrenia
have a higher rate of suicide than the general population.
Approximately 10 percent of people with schizophrenia (especially
young adult males) commit suicide. Unfortunately, the prediction
of suicide in people with schizophrenia can be especially
difficult.